the power to win any video game with your feet but only when intoxicated

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The power to transform any cutlery into a plastic spork, but only when you're in life threatening situations.

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The power to actually care what these people are writing.

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The ability to grow and retract your hair at will, but cutting it will remove the ability.

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The power to make people believe it wasn't' you who just farted

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Hearing so good a raindrop will deafen you

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The power to fly when you fart

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The power to be so perfectly blunt.

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The ability to have any destructive power... As long as you use it on babies or old people.

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The power to talk in any language but you can't talk in the language of the country that you're in.

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the ability to turn things purple by touching it.

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The ability to have udders for nipples.

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The power to throw-up purple cheese curds on command, but you are also allergic to purple cheese curds?

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The power to make people extremely happy as soon as you die.

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The ability to dodge bullets, but only after you've been hit by the first bullet.

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To be able to summon old people

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To grow your fingernails out and in very quickly.

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The power to compare anything to pr0n because "you know it when you see it."

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the power to shit with your mouth

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The power to make birds levitate as you walk by them.

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To pee standing up.

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the power to fire angry ticks out of your nipples

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the power to move things with your mind in your imagination

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The power to poop whenever you want.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!