The ability to fly a millimeter off the ground.

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The ability to float sideways very slowly

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The power to freeze ice

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The power to wipe your ass with one confetti

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The power to make your girlfriend orgasm only when you are having sex with another man.

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The power to use yo momma jokes in a masterful manner in all conversations.

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The ability to ingest Dihydrogen-monoxide and survive.

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_/?\_ (?`_´) SON GET IN THE SCOUT TANK WE'RE KILLING THE SCAMMERS

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The power to float in water, and then sink sometimes.

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the power to be the idiot who is reading this website instead being a person because they lost their souls after there ex dumped them and they turned into horny trans-gender whores

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The power to be indecisive about which seat you can take.

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The power of immortality, but only when you try to commit suicide.

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the power to think of useless super powere like this one

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The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

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the power to turn on a random guys tv

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The ability to read children's books twice as fast as any given child.

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the power to crap out bite-sized super heroes.

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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the power to eat bread

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The power to reseal bottles!

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Be virtually indestructible, but only to things your not paying attention too.

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The ability to hover slightly above the ground on Wednesdays.

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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The power to put up with your in-laws.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!