The Power To Only Get Horny Around Your Grandmother

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The power to strangle yourself to death

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The power to stick your head up your ass

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The power to build Lego with incredible speed, but then knock it down immediately.

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The power to digest food wrappers, but only once youve opened them.

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The power to know the ending of the book before you get there.

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???q? ?o?? sp??oq??? ?nq ????u o? ???l?q? ???

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The power to become a forensic paranoiac raving lunatic at will... HEY! YOU! Why are you gonna give my comment a thumbs down eh? AND WHY A THUMBS UP? Are you gonna hack my account and kill my family? OH YEAH! OH YEAH? I AM GONNA KILL THEM MYSELF JUST TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! BAHAHAHAHA!

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Delayed Reaction Man

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The ability to instantly friendzone yourself.

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The power drown in water

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The Power to lost your Dankness every time you Breath.

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The power to text while driving and dies of cancer.

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the power to complete math exercises

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The power to divide by zero

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The ability not to be able to make a bong out of a taco bell cup

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The power to survive at absolute zero

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the power to awesomely tap dance when you are angry.

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The power o know why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch

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the ability to click your fingers and lose your hands

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EntirelyTooManyNapkins Man

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the power of breath 10 times per second of you will die

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The power to summon Wolverine, but only so he can give you a colonoscopy.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!