The power to make food slightly smaller.

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The power to become a llama.

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The power to heal yourself once every hundred years.

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The power to move microscopic specks of dust, but only one at a time, and only a few times a year.

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The power to recite all digits of pi, but you can’t stop and you die when you’re done

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The ability to turn into a were-turtle when exposed to the full moon.

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Being able to wiggle your left pinky & right ring-finger exceptionally fast.

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The power to eat broken glass and shit windows.

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Power duplication or power negation in a world where there are no superpowers.

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the power to emit free wifi which the signal strength varies by your erection.

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The ability to fart like a zombie.

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The power of turning poo into Adam Sandler movies

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the power to fire angry ticks out of your nipples

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The power to only drink when your parents are watching.

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The power to propel urine at the top speed of the animal you most recently thought of.

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The power to let someone control your dick

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The power to summon anything you hate. Moral: Relax I hate morals too, if you ever find a moral here, then its not the original guy.

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the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

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The power to read 20 pages of pointless superpowers, but only during science class

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The power to heal yourself but only damage you inflict on yourself.

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The power to walk on frozen water.

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The power to talk to animals and plants, but only to have really boring conversations with them.

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The ability to read minds by absorbing their mental disorders

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The power to make really bad jokes: knock knock who's there chicken chicken who no thats an owl not a chicken, you goose!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!