The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The power to read minds, but only that of someone who is watching Twilight.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The power to type useless powers that no one's ever gonna read.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

The power to have a unique fart smell

thumb_up thumb_down +50

The power to move in slow motion whenever running away from danger. Moral: Hilarious! XD

thumb_up thumb_down +38

The power to give onesself a heart attack just by thinking about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

the power to make food disappear in your mouth only when your mouth is not closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The power to eat soap.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The power to poop but only in bushes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The power to eat food, unless you're touching food.

thumb_up thumb_down +151

The power to drown on land.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

The power to attract bullets when a gun fires

thumb_up thumb_down +133

To be ALMOST able to run faster than a speeding bullet

thumb_up thumb_down +131

The power to spell-check or at least reread what you're about to post.

thumb_up thumb_down +127

The power to have magnetic eyeballs.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

The power to know the ending of the book before you get there.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

the power to be nonflammable unless your on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +117

The ability to turn cement into pudding

thumb_up thumb_down +117

the power to talk to your elbow

thumb_up thumb_down +115

The ability to instantly friendzone yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

the power to shit your pants uncontrollably when your mom calls your name

thumb_up thumb_down +111

the power to talk to animals but only when it means stealing your ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +109

The power to divide by zero

thumb_up thumb_down +103

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!