The power of superspeed.... when your running backwards

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The power to jump faster.

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The power to instantaneously change the grain of wood

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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The power to have an ejaculate in your pants by looking a girl in the eyes.

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The power to see through glass walls.

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You can fly, but only while on a plane that's in the air.

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The power to make every single person in the world hate you and want you dead.

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The power to see very far with the eyes closed.

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The ability to read minds, but it can only be your own.

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You can hear what people think ...in sign language.

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The ability to fly, but only when you wear absolutely nothing.

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the power to read whenever somebody is about to make a pun but only if youve already heard that pun

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The power to slap your buttcheeks together, then transform into a head of cabbage.

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the power to solve any problem and answer any question or equation, you just have to read all books known to mankind.

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The ability to hear fish.

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The power to hear a dog whistle

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The power to spontaneously combust into trillions of microscopic kittens, every time you stare a cat photo for more then 3 hours.

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u?op ?p?sdn ?d?? o? ???od ???

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The power to melt chocolate at room temperature.

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to travel in time....2 minutes in the past exactly after..masturbation.... masturbation-time-loop...........

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The power to be 1% bullet proof.

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The power to incriminate yourself in a crime you didnt commit

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The ability to eat anything except for food

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!