The power to have ABSOLUTELY anything you want!... ...As long as that absolutely anything you want happens to be a pile of premium fresh horsecrap... Moral: This made myself lol, so it probably has 16 red thumbs by now YAY!!!!!!!!

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The power to sleep anytime your tired

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The ability to excrete Hydrochloric acid, but only in your stomach.

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The power to read the terms of service.

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the power to fly, but only 1 inch over the ground

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The power to read all these post's in less then a day

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The power to lick your balls.

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The power to breathe fire but onle when under water

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The power to make your boss s**t his pants during staff meetings

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The power to save all that time your new fast boil kettle has saved you

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The power to slap your buttcheeks together, then transform into a head of cabbage.

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the power to know when your about to get rick rolled

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The power to travel in time for 2 seconds

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the power to like Liam Brudenell, That is pointless

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To teleport to space and then emediately suffocate.

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The ability to sense any and all ham in a five mile radius.

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The ability to spit in random obscure crayola colors.

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The ability to have every possible thought as fast as the Flash is capable of moving and faster and know how every scenario can, will, and most likely will play out, yet you cannot say anything about them and they cannot be put to use. As well as no one can read your mind or anything similar to obtain said knowledge.

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the ability to give a potato an orgasm

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The power to go suicide

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The ability to money into dog shit.

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The power to incriminate yourself in a crime you didnt commit

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The power to be 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds younger

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The power to turn all people into giant robots which you don't control

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!