The Ability to shit studs once a week

thumb_up thumb_down +99

The ability to be bulletproof after you get shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

the power to kill plants in a desert.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

The power to see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch

thumb_up thumb_down +91

The ability to create bruises on your body but not know where they came from, and then poke them.-.Jack

thumb_up thumb_down +91

the power to herd cats

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to die when you get scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to watch Netflix instead of writing a thesis paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to sound like a 12 year old while playing call of duty

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to walk on frozen water.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to produce fingernails at will that people can eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The power to eat a cheeseburger and still get fat from it

thumb_up thumb_down +81

to create balloons out of anywhere on your body, and twist them into whatever you look at.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

The power to push "pull" doors

thumb_up thumb_down +75

The power to increase the amount of earwax by 300 percent at will.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

To have the power of hindsight, which will allow you to see what you should have done previously or what other people should have done

thumb_up thumb_down +67

the power to pee for longer then a normal person

thumb_up thumb_down +65

The power to uncontrollably laugh and point at every black guy you see

thumb_up thumb_down +63

The power to teleport to anywhere in the known universe, but not be able to teleport back

thumb_up thumb_down +61

The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

thumb_up thumb_down +57

tumor boy, has the power to grow a tumor in his own body.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

The power to breathe oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

the power to uncontrollably say but I love you, when you're breaking up with someone

thumb_up thumb_down +43

the power to jerk off

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!