the power to do one push-up

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The power to have super-sonic hearing, but only in the presence of the mute.

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The power to have any power you want, but only if you are touching a nine pound diamond, standing in a pool of gold, and stabbing yourself in your pineal gland, the smallest muscle in your body.

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The power to handle the truth. Moral: Truth is in the eye of the beholder, I AM THE ONE AND ONLY BEHOLDER!

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The power to perform stan up comedy whilst sitting down

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The ability to fly, but only when sleeping...

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the power to be permanently unconfortable.

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The power to talk really loud or quiet and you can control it.

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The power to ride a bike

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the power to seduce hats

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The power of x-ray vision only when you are naked in public. More people the stronger it is.

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The power to peel a banana with your foreskin

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The power to make other people hold their breath.

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The power to throw your crotch as a powerful one time grenade.

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The power to have intense orgasms, but only if you choke yourself.

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The power to transform your foreskin to rusty iron.

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the power to be invisible, but only at night

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the power to distinguish gays from not gays..

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The power to abstain from sex until you're married. At age 83.

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The ability to anticipate the release of half-life three. Sidenote: Goes hand in hand with the ability to bathe in your own tears.

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power to be the smartest creature in the universe but only 3 seconds a day

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the power to produce shampoo out your eyes

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The power to summon earthworms

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The power to be a Fox News anchor with something actually coherent to say.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!