The power to summon your mom so you can prove she's not as fat as the chav in front of you is saying she is

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the ability to write using your 'inside' voice but only once your vocal cords are compromised

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The power to walk through doors, then open it.

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The power to give a **** about bigfoot

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to pick thing up with your feet

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the ability to only do pointless things.

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The power to freeze time but you would also be frozen. Basically dooming everyone to be frozen in time with no way of getting out. No one would even know about it but it will happen.

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The power to take in air into your lungs through your nose

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The power to poo.

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The power to fail every time you try to do something

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The ability to propel yourself and others away from you by sneezing.

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The power to have a poo at your girlfriend's house and be only 22.2% sure that it will flush

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The power to look angry when not trying too and everyone else notices it and im just lonely.

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The power to move you right eye into the position of your left and vise versa, but only when you are sleeping.

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The power to shapeshift into a frog, but not the power to turn back

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The power to turn into Donald Trump hair

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The power to be Sexually Molested And Raped Twice and be smart at the same time.

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the power to do one push-up

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The power to have super-sonic hearing, but only in the presence of the mute.

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The power to have any power you want, but only if you are touching a nine pound diamond, standing in a pool of gold, and stabbing yourself in your pineal gland, the smallest muscle in your body.

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The power to handle the truth. Moral: Truth is in the eye of the beholder, I AM THE ONE AND ONLY BEHOLDER!

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The ability to fly, but only when sleeping...

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the power to make men funnier smarter and more athletic then womer.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!