The power to run at walk speeds.

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The ability to only fart in public

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The ability to wear one shoe on both feet.

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the power to youtube poop

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The super pow.er to die at will

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The power to not be able to get powers

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The power to not exist.

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the power to emit free wifi which the signal strength varies by your erection.

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The power to defuse bombs without touching them, but you have to be within 3 inches of it.

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The power to be super strong, but you have to be totally wasted for it to work.

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The power to sneeze scissors

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the power to be extremely guilty in the bum.

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To get to know everything Jack Nicholson has said yet you blurb out his comments and random and by the time you face this YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: You think this entry was boring? It is great actually, what? You say it sucks? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power to have everyone in the universe believe you are dead. Including you.

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The ability to turn into Gary Coleman

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The power to read your own mind.

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The power to die

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the ability to write using your 'inside' voice but only once your vocal cords are compromised

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The power to see at night but only black objects.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to continuously shoot extremely powerful lasers from your eyes unless they're closed or you wear special, unbelievably expensive glasses.

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the power to understand what kate bush is singing

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The power to freeze time but you would also be frozen. Basically dooming everyone to be frozen in time with no way of getting out. No one would even know about it but it will happen.

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The power to turn into a two by two LEGO piece - once.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!