power to be the smartest creature in the universe but only 3 seconds a day

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The power to run at walk speeds.

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The power to turn your fingers into penises.

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The power to be able 2 pee every 2 hours

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The power to look busy at work but only when the boss is not looking.

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The power to not be able to get powers

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the power to fart every time you blink

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The power to uncontrollably make your clothes dissapear and only in church.

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Everything you touch turns into piles of steaming shit.

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The power to defuse bombs without touching them, but you have to be within 3 inches of it.

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The power to sing better then anyone in the world, but only in the presence of the deaf.

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The power to have a phone that can't call or text and you can only have it when no one is within 5 miles of you.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to defrost windows with the turn of a knob.

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The power to die, and you can only do it once.

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The power to not get crushed, only if you're in contact with something.

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Telekinetic power over styrofoam

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The power to fall up.

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The power to shit whole balogna sandwiches.

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The ability to catch bullets traveling under 5 mph

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the power to cook instant pasta in less than 1 min.

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the power to fly two inches above solid ground at the speed you walk

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the power to wake up right before the best part of a dream

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The power of 2 milliseconds of omnipotence followed by death.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!