Everything you touch turns into piles of steaming shit.

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The power to grow hair on your eyeballs

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The ability to suddenly realize you have Cancer.

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The power to fart upon command.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to defrost windows with the turn of a knob.

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The power to run faster that a chetah when asleep, but to move as fast a snail when awake.

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the power to be .13 cents short on every purchase you try to make.

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The power to fall up.

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the power to cook instant pasta in less than 1 min.

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The power to travel in time but only to the moment of your death.

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The power of 2 milliseconds of omnipotence followed by death.

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The power to teleport yourself naked in front of your mom each time she is naked. (it cant be shut of)

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The power to think of a pointless superpower

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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the power to cure someones cold by giving them AIDs

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The power to f*ck yourself

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the power to summon 10 ants every week

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thee power to not eat but still starve

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the power to say funny joke, but only deaf people can hear it.

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The power for chris not to eat spaghetti

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The power to create garbage out of nowhere.

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Giving a shit about someone's bull shit

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The ability to turn invisible but only when no one is looking at you

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!