The power to attract bullets.

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The power to buy "I cant believe its not butter" and turn the damn thing into real butter.

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the power to be able to switch tabs on your computer two seconds after your parents walk in the room

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the power to emit free wifi which the signal strength varies by your erection.

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A healing punch

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The power to understand a joke 30 seconds later after the last person in the group did it.

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The power to see extremely far, and to see trough everything except yourself. Congrats you are stuck with seeing your own ass wherever you go for the rest of your life. Yeh i am moral man whatevs...

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power to eat through your but

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The poewr to selpl eryvetihng wonrg.

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The power to ma-FUK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSY

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The power to be super strong, but you have to be totally wasted for it to work.

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The power to mentally control tapeworms.

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The power to open shampoo and conditioner bottles by blinking.

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The ppwer to say SHAZAM, Then someone says wat?

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The power to change your eye colour but you are the only one who can see the difference.

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The power to have every single power you can imagine but not able to use any of them

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The power to be yourself.

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The power to suck your own dick

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The power to f-ck every girl in the world, read it carefully EVERY girl in the world...

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the power to vote

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The power to stretch infinitely, but you cant return to your normal state.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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the power to see the present

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The power to touch the ground using only your feet

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!