Wait this isn't pornhub!?

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The power to have superpowers from the beginning

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The power to blink 1.0000000000001 times faster than the average human.

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The power to post hundreds of pointless superpowers in minutes. Moral: It is always fun to see another person`s comment between mine with zero thumbs, while mine always keep the excellent two thumb quality! Lesser man would say thank you... I say you are welcome everybody ;) (A moral man original, because someone needs the balls of steel required to see things how they really are)

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Being able to create duplicates of yourself, however you must give birth to these duplicates out of your anus (incredibly painful and its highly likely that you will pass out from the pain). And to disappear they must claw their way back up.

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The power to expand the size of your head and gain weak telekinesis, but you die in 3 days, the bigger you make your head, the more powerful your telekinesis but the faster you die.

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The Ability to remove your penis and grow a new one. the old penis will grow roots and become a penis tree. A lovely addition to any home.

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The power to shoot skittles when you cum.

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Power to give birth through your penis.

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The power to give yourself the most intense orgasm of all time at will, but it only lasts for a millisecond.

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The ability to turn into Chuck Norris, then get round house kicked in the face and killed by the real Chuck Norris because there can only be one Chuck Norris.

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The Power of Super Speed only when you climb a ladder

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the power to breathe under water but only when yourout of water

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The power to transform into a vegetable, but only one way

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the power to float one atom above the ground

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The power to move you right eye into the position of your left and vise versa, but only when you are sleeping.

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The power to not be affected by bullets unless you are shot with one by a gun

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The power to make police pull over the black guy next to you (in your car) and anytime this happens you get the ticket not him

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The power to thumb ME down! Moral: Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you do-own...

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The power to produce 5 times the normal amount of ball sweat.

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The power to stop time, but only when you are waiting for something.

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The power to stop time but if you do so you will also stop.

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The power to remember everything then forgetting it 10 seconds later.

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the power to shit liquidly

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!