The power to travel 60 miles an hour while inside of a vehicle.

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the power to summon fire with a lighter

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the power to have sex with any women you want. with your whole family watching

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The power to summon Pedobear and only if you are under 10.

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the ability to lick your own anus

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The power to turn the tv off from 0.00000000001 inches away, with your mind, but it takes half an hour to actually turn off. This superpower runs out whenever you come within a mile of a tv.

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mime-o-moid. The power to pretend to be stuck in a box, walk a dog and climb a rope.

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The power to lose your genitals when you masturbate or have sex

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The power of micro penis.

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The power to hold your pee for 5 minutes longer than normal.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to travel in time but only to the moment of your death.

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To change your eye colour when ever you want

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The power to know what card is on top of a deck, but only when it's an 8 of diamonds.

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The power to survive falls frrom great heights, but only if you land on your index finger.

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the power to hate nature

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The ability to fart pee.

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The power to move you right eye into the position of your left and vise versa, but only when you are sleeping.

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The power to tie your shoes...... while your on BOTH knees

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The power to change the colour of your forehead,.

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The power to know every language except for ones spoken in the country your in.

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The power to be able 2 pee every 2 hours

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The power to make cats ask for cheeseburgers in comically broken English

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The power to handle the truth. Moral: Truth is in the eye of the beholder, I AM THE ONE AND ONLY BEHOLDER!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!