the power to change the size of your thumb when ever you want

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the power to give any goatAIDS using your penis

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The ability to make all the world's coffee lukewarm.

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The power to regret things you did in the past

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The ability to turn into Chuck Norris, then get round house kicked in the face and killed by the real Chuck Norris because there can only be one Chuck Norris.

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the power to view the same insurance commercials over and over for years and recite them from memory

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The power to have lemons spew out of the sun at will

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The ability to catch anything on fire, but only if it is already on fire

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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The power to generate lottery numbers which don't win

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The Power to bite your own ear.

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The power to become tired at will but never sleep.

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The power to die whenever you want.

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The power to make short sleeves into slightly longer sleeves.

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The power to eavesdrop on your best friend from anywhere in the world when he's sleeping.

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The power to see Waldo everywhere you look, unless your looking at his books

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The ability to turn an airplane into a smart car, but only while they're full and in flight.

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the power to get blood clots

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The power to withstand camel rape.

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the ability to change the color of one eye if dehydrated nearly to the point of death

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The power to be a dick.

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The power to burn ashes

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The power to infinitely generate cardboard

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The power to get thumbs down.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!