the power to read impossibly fast, but only when you're watching a movie with no subtitles

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The power to sweat soup.

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The ability to be jokingly racist and not get sued by an hypocritically racist black man and end up having to carry out a minor jail sentence or pay a fine.

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The power to be -100% faster...

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the power to destroy galaxies but only when drunk or high

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The power to have the confidence to ask anyone out but always get rejected.

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The power to activate all musical instruments at full volume just by going to sleep.

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Be able to hear all the alarmclocks in the world

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The power to bend a bendy straw faster than the speed of light.

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*The power to fall, but only when you trip.

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the power to feel extreme pain

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The power to see in to the future of one second

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The power to to do the boogy dance when ants go up your pants.

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the power to do something amazing, when no one's looking.

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The ability to have pockets in your skin that can only fit carrots.

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the power to self destruct without hurting people.

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The power to watch womens basketball

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The power to turn into a bucket for 1 second throughout your lifetime.

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The power to write pointless super powers when you have your final exams to study for...

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The ability to talk like Robert DeNiro on helium

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the ability to fly through the sky using the skin from your ballsack to glide to the ground

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the power to mumble every word wile you are with some one

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!