The power to wipe your ass once, and only once.

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The power to read thoughts but it reads everyones thoughts at the same time and you can't decipher whose thought is whose

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The power to not have this superpower

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The power to run at the speed of light, but are paralyzed from the neck down.

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Liam Brudenell

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The power to make everyone you touch see nothing but porn

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The power to turn food into shit.

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The power spite flower

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the power to evenly cook a hot pocket.

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The power to be AMAZING in bed, but only when you're having sex with a midget over the age of 40.

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The power to pee ants.

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The power to walk on your butt cheeks

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The power to become invisible, but it only works when you are using it for noble and moral purposes.

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?u?op ?p?sdn ?d?? o? ?????q? ???

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Feeling people's depression.

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MARIAN PRICE ISN'T DEAD BUT SOME SAY SHE'S DEAD INSIDE

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The power to fly, but only when you are less than a foot off the ground.

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The power to think of any superpower but not have it

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the power to become phil collins, but only after peter gabrial left

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the power to see through clothes in a gay bar.

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the power to start a new wave band with a neon Open sign, a single bath salt, and a wet Tibetan ritz cracker.

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the power to die 10 minutes after reading this comment

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The power to have unlimited characters in youtube comments

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The power to put out light from your butt

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!