The power to eavesdrop on your best friend from anywhere in the world when he's sleeping.

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The power to think you have powers.

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The power to microwave bread

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the other is a baby.

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The power to shoot yogurt from your armpits once a month

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The power to pass sociology/psychology class by making yourself a hated internet meme by triggering negative emotions in a subject only using a simple word, only to discover later that it has turned into a compulsion. Moral, yep now you hate me, good day to you sir! Moral: There.

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the power to have no one read this post

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The power to die when touching any form of light

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The power to take away your power.

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The power to do flaming flying kicks by yelling CAPTAIN FEET!

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The power to have every superpower ever (including pointless ones) for one second every full moon, then have every pointless one for the rest of the time.

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To call me maybe

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The power to make your parents walk into your room whenever you're masturbating.

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The power to read a dictionary in under 48 hours

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The power to make everyone you touch see nothing but porn

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The power to zoom in with your eyes, but only when looking to the sun.

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The power of evolving a cancer cell everytime you blink

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the abitlity to turn into a duck, but not turn back.....

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The power to die and come back as a invincible bug that lives for 5 seconds

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The power to be Helen Keller at will.

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The power to detach you`re penis and use it as a throwing weapon... to late you discover its not possible to attach it back :(

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The power to fly really fast, but only in one direction (down).

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The power to be an artistic genius during a math test.

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The ability to turn into an apple--but not be able to turn back.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!