The power to travel faster than the speed of light but never slower than the speed of light.

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The power to teleport through open doors

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The power to empty your bladder without going to the restroom but only when you really have to poop and it is trying to force its way out.

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The ability to summon Cthulhu automatically when you reach the age of 23.5.

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The power to shrink, but only in certain places...

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The power to reseal bottles!

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The power to control weather on Mars

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The power to cook pop tarts really fast

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The power to kill someone instantly; but you can only kill one person: yourself.

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The power to have sex and sleep at the same time

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the power to know what time is not

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The ability to be jokingly racist and not get sued by an hypocritically racist black man and end up having to carry out a minor jail sentence or pay a fine.

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The power of creating poop.

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having the ability to not piss yourself when your on the toilet.

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The super power to control paper.

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The power to read a dictionary in under 48 hours

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The power to turn cancer into aids.

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The power to see through water

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Having the power of a normal human

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the power to randomly sprout a paper clip once a month

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The power to heal people. But only sometimes and after you got a medical education.

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The power to shit rainbows but have incredible pain while shitting them.

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the power to relive the least important moments in history

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the ability to solve paradoxes

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!