The power to expand the size of your head and gain weak telekinesis, but you die in 3 days, the bigger you make your head, the more powerful your telekinesis but the faster you die.

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The power to go back in time to when you were in Kindergarten for the soul purpose of eating the crayons before anyone else.

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Being able to create duplicates of yourself, however you must give birth to these duplicates out of your anus (incredibly painful and its highly likely that you will pass out from the pain). And to disappear they must claw their way back up.

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The Ability To See When Your Eyes Are Closed

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the distinct ability to tell when a marine plant is mildly displeased with it's cells.

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The power to bleed

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the power to search pointless super powers when you could be doing something useful

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The power to fall from any height and stop in midair right before you hit the ground, then continue falling with 100x the velocity from before you stopped.

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The ability to know everything about knowing nothing.

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The power to make 3.74% of your body a pale green colour.

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The power to change your emotions

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The power to fly but only on a foggy Christmas night

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The power to turn into a lamp and stay that way till someone turns your light on.

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The power to speed up time for only 1 Planck Instant every hour.

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The power to control grass, not make it grow, but make it move in any direction you want.

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The power to not be affected by bullets unless you are shot with one by a gun

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The power to make police pull over the black guy next to you (in your car) and anytime this happens you get the ticket not him

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The power of the detachable little toe!

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The power to take control of mentally disabled turtles.

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The power to make you teeth yellower

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the ability to not get pregnant when you get raped

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The power to stop time but if you do so you will also stop.

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The power of not knowing

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The power life like a hermit.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!