done something sexual with some type of food?

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The power to jerk off with no hands.

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MARIAN PRICE ISN'T DEAD BUT SOME SAY SHE'S DEAD INSIDE

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The power to not move or do anything.... at all

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The power to give epic blowjobs, works only if you are a incarcerated, straight male.

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The power to move 1 second into the future. Takes 1 second to work.

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The Power of being Friendzoned

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The power to harvest the cheese off your wiener.

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The power to only use yahoo.com

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The power to transform into an ant, but only on busy pavements in the after work rush.

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The power to make something cold when you put it in the fridge

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the power to reseal bottle caps

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The ability to create a chicken egg, once and then never again.

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The power to get a boner, but only when you're hugging your dad.

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The power to sense if an object is sharp.

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The power to cry acid tears

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The power to see through the clothes of naked people.

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The power to speak in cursive

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The power of believing you have a real power when you don't (which doesn't make you have a power at all, and consequently, turns into a paradox). Self-paradox man!

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The power to change the color of your piss

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The power to have super-sonic hearing, but only in the presence of the mute.

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The ability to cry shampoo at will. But it still stings.

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the power to believe there are 50 shades of grey

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The power to change to a wombat when you have an erection while you're sleeping.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!