the power to kill every thing you see but you have to be high and drunk and naked at the same time

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Be able to hear all the alarmclocks in the world

thumb_up thumb_down +52

The ability to pick ur nose while killing a bacteria and kissing a mouse ass

thumb_up thumb_down +50

The power to appear in the center of the moon (in a hollow space) whenever you die.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

The power to fly but only when your in space.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

The power to see to the side of you without turning your head

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The power to move 1 vein slightly to the left, but only if you moved to an apartment on the 29th of February (in any leap year).

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The power to shapeshift into a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

hey

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The power to change the channel of the television every 2 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The ability to not fart, but only while you are alone

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The ability to teleport into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Move things with your mind but only if you are holding them and you can't let go

thumb_up thumb_down +8

i remember coming up with one once, the ability to flash step, like teleportation, but it uses up the same amount of wear and tear on your body(and clothing/footwear) and stamina as if you walked a straight line there (say you were Stepping to the top of mount everest, the same amount of physical exhaustion and bodily wear and tear as if you tilted the earth, laid a flat board to the summit, and walked across it, and untilting the earth, all in an instant). where the only convenience obtained is time saved, but there would also be the issue of being constantly exhausted, the near limitless amounts of food needed to be consumed, and the constant need for sleep would make this power essentially useless except for convenience, you COULD say this is similar to stopping time, but with far more limitations, as its only used for moving from one place to another

thumb_up thumb_down

the ability to say "you're killing me", without irony...to my murderer

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The power to have tacos appear in front of you, only to have them stolen by a black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

the ability to make real zero dollar bills

thumb_up thumb_down -4

the power to make a site called "pointless superpowers". Y U so pointless!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The power to have a very keen sense of smell 24/7 but only when a fart is present

thumb_up thumb_down -14

the power die if you think.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

the power of the Anti-petter gun, which fires bullshit over the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

The ability to see the world from a rock's perspective. Everywhere there is a rock you see what is around it. But rocks don't have eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

thumb_up thumb_down -38

The power to get addicted to any drug ever unless you constantly use them.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!