The power to kill yourself to take out a criminal... except for the fact that when you kill yourself you literally might as well be throwing a marshmallow at someone.

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the power to see through bananas

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The power to turn on the TV with the remote

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The power to sing that lame "Tomorrow" song from Annie uncontrollaby on Dec. 21, 2012.

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the power to lose your power at will

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The power to taste food 3 seconds before they eat it.

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The power to be able to mate with squirrels and have offspring.

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the power to fly but only upward

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The power to play a flute with your ass

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Just because you do not see and advert here, it does not mean it is not here... Moral: Dudu duduh dudududun... ALWAYS MORAL-COLA! (aka Moke in the brits) NOW IN LIGHT AND SUPERFAT EDITIONS! Order now for the special I am fagneto edition! TASTE THE FAGNETIC! Because if gay is your way, todays morals, support this way! Lesbian-Coke is out of stock, but pre-order now and receive a moral man offer: "the lesbian drunk party invite international live!" *porn music* Hurry up! Only 2 Billion tickets left! No wait... just 50 left!... no wait... 40... no 30... 29... you better hurry ladies! As much *free* booze you can drink! *The booze Is free, the entrance is free, but the payment to get out of the building depends on how much you drink, non payers will be graped and their sex pictures will be sold on the internet* *All lesbian sex pictures will be sold on the internet, grape is not allowed! Surprise sexy time is allowed though!* Moral-Cola!

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the power to talk backwards

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The power to be Helen Keller at will.

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The power of superspeed...which comes with horrible stamina and Asthma.

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The power of night-blindness.

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The power to look what is at the back of your head.

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the power to not have a power

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The power to stop writing stupid shit on the internet.

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the distinct ability to tell when a marine plant is mildly displeased with it's cells.

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The power to die at will.

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The power to become extremely intoxicated only during job interviews

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The power to run at the slowest speed possible.

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The power to be white but only in the city limits of detroit or compton.

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Eht rewop ot epyt sdrawkcab dna kaeps ti yltneulf ekilnu eht yug ohw tog no eht tsrif egap.

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The power to have excellent wifi when all your devices are dead.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!