The power to spend your life doing things that are totally pointless

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The ability to day nearly motionless while binge watching internet videos

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The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

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The Power Of being Overly Generous in Bad Situations.

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The power to make any girl hate you

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The power to enlarge your penis but only when you use a penis pump.

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The power to shoot milk through your eyes

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The power to know the answer to every question you're asked, but forgetting it instantly.

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The power to walk through air.

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the ability to see into the past

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the power to know what time is not

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The superpower to read a 2 pages of a book at once. Never mind... This is the BEST superpower in the world! [Insert troll face here]

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the power to orgasm more than once in one round of sex. the thing is, after the 4th time, it gets slightly uncomfortable.

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the power to turn into a bucket of water

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the power to turn into rouge the bat so you can touch her boobs

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The power to say something positive about Justin Beiber

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the power to waste time doing stupid stuff like reading this.

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The ability to pick ur nose while killing a bacteria and kissing a mouse ass

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The power to pee out your butt and poop out of your weenie

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The power to only be physically attractive to blind people.

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The power to suck deez nuts

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to spelle caretly

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The ability to make time go ten times faster whenever you are stressed.

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the ability to manually control your breathing

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!