The power to be happy whenever you want, but only at funerals

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To have your speed, strength, reflexes and senses heightened to the level of whatever is appropriate in your situation.

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A power to fly only when you are standing on ground

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The power to tell time every other second. sometimes.

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the power to kiss your own ass

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The power to eat anything that is from a plant

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The power to turn your bones into molten lead.

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The power to make vegetables horny.

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The ability to make someone's heart stop, but only after they have died on their own of natural causes

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The power to choose a superpower from this site.

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The power to remove seeds from seedless grapes but only on the 4th of may on a sunday

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Levitation Power but only 3 inch from ground,

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The power to control your own limb movement

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The ability to turn only your car in the direction in which the president of Zambia is looking.

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The ability to go to the time and place where you are going to die.

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The power to fly with your feets on the ground

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The power to fart 5 times bigger

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THE POWER TO TYPE EVERYTHING IN CAPS-LOCK

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the power to start a new wave band with a neon Open sign, a single bath salt, and a wet Tibetan ritz cracker.

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The power to read autistic people's minds

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The power to read the mind of a cow that has produced a piece of cheese that has traveled 447,800 miles but only when looking at that piece of cheese

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The power to have no power.

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The power to have any stupid thing you do and experience being automatically uploaded on youtube.

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The power to walk on your eyeballs, but only on sharp objects.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!