the power to evenly cook a hot pocket.

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The power to not have powers that arent pointless but then you realize your a normal human bein then you just think hey mabey I can be like Batman but then also you were like hey why am I not a multi-billionaire . After this all you find out you have the power to wake up at 12 pm only while using a alarm clock set for 7 am

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The power to have all your friends leave you

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THe power to whistle from your butthole but any time you do this your penis shrinks

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the power to read and agree to the terms or service

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The power to die when u drink bleach

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The man who isn't afraid of sharks. Not even a little.

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The power of superspeed...which comes with horrible stamina and Asthma.

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the ability to lick your own elbow

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The power of eating from ears.

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?u?op ?p?sdn ?d?? o? ?????q? ???

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the power to fail any test you want

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The power to have a second brain, but it has the IQ of a rock.

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MARIAN PRICE ISN'T DEAD BUT SOME SAY SHE'S DEAD INSIDE

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The power to stop writing stupid shit on the internet.

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The power to have any power on this list but only 1 at any given point in time.

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the power to tie your shoelaces with one hand

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The power to die at will.

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The power to give epic blowjobs, works only if you are a incarcerated, straight male.

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the power to grow mustache combs from your fingernails, but lack the ability to grow facial hair

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The power to die but once

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the ability to only do pointless things.

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The power to shriek so loud your own eardrums cause nuclear explosions

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An ability to exist without any food but only after you eat some food.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!