The Power Hear Everything that happens within the closest McDonald's

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The power to instantly kill yourself

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Power to see through clothes... only to see more clothes

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The power to hear yourself on recording and not think you sound weird

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The power to fly, but only when on the ground

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The power to fart through your mouth and burb through your butt

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the power to die on command

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The power to be a MISSERABLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK (glass breaks) HAVE AT YOU! Moral: More are gonna get this one than those below, this one is merely a quote rather than cerebral. But you can always pretend to understand it by thumbing it up, or down if you just fail at understanding, either way is fine.

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the power to do two suicide bombings

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The power to be invisible when your eyes are closed.

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The power to control any type of urine or feces

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The power to think of pointess facts at any given moment

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The ability to read a doctor's handwriting

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invinsibility to everything except for thing that hurt or kill you....

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The power to sing like Rebecca Black.

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the ability to transport anywhere and into any situation, but you never know where

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Dust-mite communication. Attack my army of microscopic and fairly harmless beasts!

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The ability to create very weak wifi with a 1000000 character password.

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The power to be MAGNETO! And have the power to WELCOME TO DIE! You dare not WELCOME TO DIE? AHAHAH! X-CHICKEN!

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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The power to buy anything for free, as long as it is black.

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The power to burp whenever you want to, but only after you've drunk 15 Dr. Peppers

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The power to shit on command.

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Batman

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!