the power to be able to touch MC Hammer

The power to lick your own elbow...

The power find anything on Google. Except Love.

The power to raise your cholesterol level using only your mind.

The power to read the Terms of Service but be unable to check the box saying that you have done so.


X-ray vision that only works on old mens clothes.

The amazing ability of delayed reaction.

the power to fly like a balloon -- no direction OH SHIT CEILING FAN

The power to temporarily become mentally retarded.

The power to shrink your penis every time you are aroused.

The power to see all things visible

the ability to walk with your buttcheeks

The power to change to an appropriate accent when you go to different countries.

The power to teleport 3 or 4 feet once a month.

The power to raise or lower the temperature of the room you're in by 1 degree.

the power to be right in an argument with your girlfriend. -tom hall

The ability to sneeze flames.

The power to not laugh at midgets when your stoned.

The power to make police believe you're driving in the wrong lane

The ability to glow but only in broad daylight

The power to teleport yourself through cellular signals but only on nights and weekends.

The ability to be very very stoned but only during job interviews

The ability to make dust accumulate on things five times faster than normal

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!