The power to jizz in your pants when you eat a grape.

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The power to fill in ___ blank

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The power to burn ashes

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The power to do anything for a klondike bar.

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To have your speed, strength, reflexes and senses heightened to the level of whatever is appropriate in your situation.

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The ability to know what people think of you when they see you. But you already know everyone hates you.

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The ability to unravel a ball of yarn with your mind

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The power to move 1 vein slightly to the left, but only if you moved to an apartment on the 29th of February (in any leap year).

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The power to have all your friends leave you

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the power to save Chinese people... who needs um?

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The power to shit a blue agressive monkey.

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The power to shoot string cheese out of your fingers.

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The power to break your bones on command.

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The power to walk on your butt cheeks

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The power of your girlfriend's will

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The power to SPEAK IN ALL CAPS.

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the power to walk in lava and fire unless you are hot

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Clairvoyance, but only when your mothers having intimacy with your dad.

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the power to stop time for everything... including yourself

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the power make tomatoes turn green.

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The power to understand math.

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The power to absorb your hair into your body and the burp up a bottle of shampoo and you have to do this once a day or your eyes and ears and mouth and nose will liquify for a day.

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The power to see as Stevie Wonder

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The power to think with a 6 year time gap

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!