the power to turn everthing you touch into to some form of pork but you are an orthodox jew

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The power to crap without pissing.

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The power to be out of the kitchen... and a woman

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The power to have intense orgasms, but only if you choke yourself.

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to randomly self destruct at any time

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The power to create a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that does nothing.

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The power to stop moral man from writing morals under every comment... Moral: The damn CIA cant go trough my battlestation, because I use this computer via proxy and can change my IP at will, so you literally would have to blow up the anti-bomb shelters in Micronesia and thus kill a key element of the pirate bay... And who would want that... buy your own music and movies? Download your own games? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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Super empathy! The power to feel the suffering of every living being...

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The power to fly in tornadoes

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The power to always be at half mast.

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The power to change place with any famous boxer everytime he gets hit. Moral: Hate me, love me... in the end you cannot hate what you do not care about do you? Remember this, when someone hates you, its simply because they care and worry about you... probably the only moral that makes sense... life is beautiful, thank you haters, thank you lovers, and you know what they say... haters gonna hate... they are all just a fluffy bunch of people that care too much :)

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The power to surround yourself in fire, but only when you're underwater.

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to not blink for 5 seconds

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the ability to shoot with 0.100% accuracy

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The power to turn a brainfart into a fart

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The power of flight but only when you're within three feet of another person.

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The power to drink as much tequila as you want without dying.

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The power to start typing a sentance and then start writing another way to save on your car insurance is to take the The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start to write a book about a magic trick that reveals cards

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to be able to kill bieber and what ever you want only on mondays

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The power to have razor sharp facial hair.

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The ability to know who is calling without looking at caller ID

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the power to predict Justin Beiber's next album

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The power to die at will.

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The power to accidently find all spoilers online before you watch a film or an episode of a series.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!