- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to have really sweaty palms.

the power to jizz money

The power to fly during a point in time when all humans are able to fly.

The power to have your entire body totally frictionless. Except for your nipples. They have a drag coefficient of around 5 parachutes.

The power to be born again

The ability to die instantly

The power to play their superhero name on guitar.

The ability to shoot a banana from your eyebrow every time you are riding on a unicycle.

The power to play a snippet of Darude-Sandstorm whenever you inhale or exhale.

The power to make dead batteries appear.

the ability to levitate

The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

The power of attracting fired bullets

the ability to make your eyes pop out.

The power of having a bulletproof appendix.

The power to (place useless super power here)

The ability to break the fourth wall. Thank you for reading this pointless super power, please like it.

The power to make your nipples hurt when you twist them

The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

Power to sleep without eyelids

The power to open doors the opposite way they were made to open.

The power to ignore useful information

The Power to touch MC Hammer

The power to paint with all the colors of the wind!

Pointless Super Powers