The ability to control Do-Do Birds

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All of Superman's powers except instead of Kryptonite your weakness is water

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The ability to know all the cheats/hacks for Half-Life 3.

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The ability to be born, live for about 75 years and then die.

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The power to suck your own dick but not when your horny

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The power of absolutely flawless hindsight. -Credit to South Park

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The power to gain 400 pounds in 400 seconds.

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The power to "smell what the Rock is cooking"

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The power to transform into a bucket of water.

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The ability to not drop anything ...when you're not holding anything

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The power to be really offensive after you finished a sentence U FUKING JAP

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The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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The power to look TV

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The ability to fart, hiccup, vomit, crap, burp, laugh, cry, scream and sneeze all at the same time

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The power to not remember, the only problem, is that you don't remember having this awesome power.

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the power to shit yourself when you sneeze.

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The power to give people an inexplicable hatred for you.

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The power to teleport 13,000,000,000 lightyears but not be able to return.

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The Power to f*** her right in the p***y!!

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The power to let everyone around you make a troll face but you are the only one who is able too see it.

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The power to know the answer to every question you're asked, but forgetting it instantly.

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The power to grow nipples all over your body at will

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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what do you call someone who never says hello............................ a shy person

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!