The ability to transform yourself into a Turkey but only with a brain larger than the head of a turkey. Note: People will become happy if they eat you for christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

thumb_up thumb_down +123

The power to see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch

thumb_up thumb_down +121

The power to re grow hair as soon as it gets cut off.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

The power to wear shirts considerably more often than others.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

The ability to forcibly break every bone in your body so you can shrink down never to regrow your bones back.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

The power to become a laptop forever!

thumb_up thumb_down +115

The power to become encased in concrete at will.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

The power to turn on a hot flash, but only when it's 80 degrees out.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

time travel that ownly have 5 time before loose it

thumb_up thumb_down +115

The power to ejaculate laser beams.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

The power to automatically blink rapidly at the rate of 1,588 times per second everytime you open your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

to be able to eat candybars and spit out diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +113

The power of magnetism! Aka being so magnetic that you have to live in a home completely made out of plastic, and cant go out because you either get hit by random flying frying pans and stuff literally attracted towards you, or even worse, you could get dragged towards a car in movement and become red paste. A guy with this power could not take it any more, so he bought an iron necklace and put it on... may he rest in peace...

thumb_up thumb_down +111

The power to run super fast, but only while in space.

thumb_up thumb_down +111

The ability to like this post

thumb_up thumb_down +111

the power to eat out your but and poop out your mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +111

Ability to be Stephen Hawking's stunt double.

thumb_up thumb_down +111

the ability to solve paradoxes

thumb_up thumb_down +111

the ability to see one-half of a second into the future, but only activates while sneezing.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

The power to not being able to go use the bathroom when you have to

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Moral: THUMBS UPS SOLDIER!

thumb_up thumb_down +109

The power to shrink boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +107

Ability to be Austin Calhoun when hes sick

thumb_up thumb_down +107

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!