- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to vomit every time you burp.

The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

The power to fly really fast but only in closets.

The power to turn vaseline into mercury whenever you think about throwing away a perfectly good taco

the ability to take an apple core out of the bin at will

The power to become a virgin but only if you've never had sex.

The power to do a wheelie on. Unicycle

The power to read the mind of a cow that has produced a piece of cheese that has traveled 447,800 miles but only when looking at that piece of cheese

The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

The power to journey into the future of the past.

The power to finish anyone's sentience.

Absolute Defeatability- the power to be defeated by any and all things physical and nonphysiological.

The power to see through glass

the power to fire my lazer

The power to enter the dreams of people who regularly have night terrors

The power to turn invisible except for your fingers and toes.

The power to be invisible to everything but security cameras.

the power of mind controlling...yourself

The ability to read children's books twice as fast as any given child.

the power to smell like ham

The abilty to change what your hair smells like every two years

The power to phase through walls whenever there is a door nearby leading to the next room

The power to find the droid you're looking for.

Each time to show up on daily live TV each time you are masturbating.

Pointless Super Powers