The power to take huge shits at will.

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The power to pee while standing up

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the power to hurl apples at force but only when you have drunk 20 litres of water in one go

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The power to resurrect Hitler at will, will only work if you are Jewish.

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the ability to wake up on an elephant

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The power to be Chuck Norris

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The super power to power any electronics at will. But you need 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 Apms in your body to power a phone for 0,0000000001 seconds.

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Ability to be Stephen Hawking's stunt double.

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The ability to get up from the couch.

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The power to communicate with dust bunnies.

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The power to switch genders, but you can't switch back.

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The power to like Justin Bieber

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The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

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The ability to get anyone answer your messages when the answer starts: What the...

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The power to pee any color

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The power to quote memes randomly

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The power to iron your clothes with your mind before putting it in the washing machine

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the power to fart at the worst moments

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The power to make your self drunk using only your mind, but only while your driving your kids to school

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The power to ramble on and on endlessly with no end in sight with the most inane of thoughts that no one can begin to guess when they will end or what the value or goal of anything so long-winded might be until you find yourself questioning your very desire to go living if you are only going to continue rambling.

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The power to think of epic jokes but only at funerals

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The power to bend time and space in a way that would do nothing.

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The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

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the power to give yourself sunburn

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!