The power to Silence everyone when they're saying anything

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The power to be immune to everything,except things that can kill you.

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The power to iron your clothes with your mind before putting it in the washing machine

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The power to play FPS games in real life (respawning included) but lag a lot

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The power to fuck your mum whenever you want

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The power to make your self drunk using only your mind, but only while your driving your kids to school

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The power to ramble on and on endlessly with no end in sight with the most inane of thoughts that no one can begin to guess when they will end or what the value or goal of anything so long-winded might be until you find yourself questioning your very desire to go living if you are only going to continue rambling.

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The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

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The power to think of epic jokes but only at funerals

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The power to gain an erection at will but only in front of your mother

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The ability to self destruct at will.

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Power to instantly turn drunk

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The power to fly, but only when you are less than a foot off the ground.

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Liam Brudenell

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To be able to generate cancer at will

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The power to time travel two seconds into the future.

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The power to turn grow a vagina that can whistle on your neck during a full moon.

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The power to find anything on google. EXCEPT PORN.

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to be able to see through doors... only when there open

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The power to summon your mom so you can prove she's not as fat as the chav in front of you is saying she is

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you can shoot cars but the always hit you

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The power to turn your current clothes inivisible

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The power to part clouds when there are no clouds.

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A power to turn into an ant, but only one Time.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!