- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to eat 2 hotdogs in the same bun

the ability to hold your breath for ever while being on land

the ability to make your finger nails longer by 0.1 %

The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

The ability to cure polio, but only within U.S. borders.

The power to fly really fast but only in closets.

The power to vomit every time you burp.

The power to fly inside of airplanes

The power to turn into wood once you go inside a wood chipper.

The power to turn aluminum foil into tin foil.

the power to make a fart that kills people when no one is around you

The power to become a virgin but only if you've never had sex.

The power to read the mind of a cow that has produced a piece of cheese that has traveled 447,800 miles but only when looking at that piece of cheese

the power to charge rechargeable batteries.

The power to speak a language only you can undeerstand

The power to remember the funniest thing in the world and have a full on laughing fit, as long as you are at a funeral.

Absolute Defeatability- the power to be defeated by any and all things physical and nonphysiological.

the power to see everyone as a tree

The power to sing like Justin Beiber.

the power of mind controlling...yourself

The Power to believe you have superpowers

the power to smell like ham

The power to find gold in your nose but only when you pick it in front of others

Pointless Super Powers