Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

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Each time to show up on daily live TV each time you are masturbating.

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The power to lick anything except pussy.

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the power to die

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The ability to walk slower than everyone else

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The power to ejaculate out of your ears once daily

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The power to create skype chats with 50 people and subsequently annoy all of them with 200+ messages per second. unfortunately neither you nor anybody can block, silence or leave the chat

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Meltman, with the power to melt!

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The ability to look at the sun and not go blind. Because your already blind in the first place.

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Aweonao

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the power to make hate films against Islam... theres no space for bigots and jerks on this Earth.

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The power to turn into any cat which is about to give birth.

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The power to do everything that you can do.

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The power to have an ability.

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the ability to figure out exam questions, but only after the exam.

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The power to cook 3 minute noodles in under 1 minute.

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The power to psychically flush any toilet in the world once every 27 minutes.

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The power to control yourself

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The power to believe that Mac Donalds burgers look exactly like the pictures that advertise them.

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The power to worsen your own eyesight at will.

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The power to block your own powers

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The ability to transform yourself into a Turkey but only with a brain larger than the head of a turkey. Note: People will become happy if they eat you for christmas.

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Read fortune cookies without opening them

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!