- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to swallow thousand liters of sperm without any ill effects.

The power to believe that Mac Donalds burgers look exactly like the pictures that advertise them.

the power to know how your going to die right before you die.`

The power to be a snail

Read fortune cookies without opening them

The pointless superpower to miss moral man. He was a dick.

The ability to straighten pictures on a wall with your mind.

The power to turn oxygen into carbon dioxide.

the power to hovertate

the power to run 10000 mph, but evertime you ran you were teleported to a police station and you turned into a black guy

The power to become invisible, but it only works when you are using it for noble and moral purposes.

The power to chew ass and kick bubblegum, but be all out of ass!

The ability to push doors marked "pull"

The power to suck your own dick, by growing and shrinking your p3nis.

The power to turn your pants into underwear, but only when you're wearing them.

The ability to get anyone answer your messages when the answer starts: What the...

the power to get wider by eating junk food

The power to sweat profusely on cold days.

The power to murder rocks.

the power to become demented

The power the ability to read minds but only on February the 30th 1783.

The power to blow up, before a bomb next to you blows up.

The ability to speak to deaf caterpillers

The power to kill anyone by hitting them gently on the forehead by yelling "I HIT THIS VICTIM REALLY HARD! I AM A MURDERER HAW HAW HAW! At least 2 times before, then 3 times after the deed.

Pointless Super Powers