- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

power to age faster

The ability to stretch your arm towards an object thats in a reachable distance then clench your hand around the object and pull it to yourself.

The ability to lose 0.000000000001 percent more skin per year.

to make your bowel work backwards

the power to ryme words with orange, purple, and silver but only after eating your own poo and while singing a beyonce song

The power of becoming sick when you need it.

The power to have any nice guy, but they're all gay.

the power to die 10 minutes after reading this comment

to zap people but only yourself

The power of measuring grains of corn from a large distance.

The ability to teleport to distant locations with no way of returning.

The power uncontrollably self destruct when you feel safe.

The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

the powers to be a fat gassy woman

have the power of making chicken appear when your a vegan

The ability to transform yourself in to a vibrator that is about to be used. Only works if you are gay.

The power to complete a 100m race in exactly 100 seconds.

The power to hurt your enemies but feel their pain

The power to hold your pee for 5 minutes longer than normal.

The ability to pee while standing up for men

The ability to recall lyrics of particularly terrible music with perfect accuracy.

The power to walk on water, but only if its temperature is below 0° C

The power to turn into a tree.

Feeling people's depression.

Pointless Super Powers