The ability to find the sharpest object in an given drawer, by having it puncture your hand. Every time.

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Astral Projection. Distance: .3mm

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The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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the power to inhale and exhale air

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The power to know everything, but then forget every 7 seconds

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The power to be immortal until the moment that you would die.

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The power to become sick only to spread it to your enemy but you can't stop being sick until you have treatment.

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The power to jizz mango chutney

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The power to produce up to 20 gummy bears at once through the process of budding

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The power to buy the newest iPhone without the charger...

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The power to magically summon a knife at a gunfight. Moral: "A knife in a gunfight is pretty good when the guns run out of ammo"

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The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

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The ability to metamorphose into any kind of cheese

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The power to turn into wood once you go inside a wood chipper.

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The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

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The power to be gangsta, only in front of true gangsta's.

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The power to click the left button of your mause, only by thinking of how you click it,while your finger is on the button.

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The power to do control the atmosphere, but only in space.

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The power to do unto others as you do unto yourself

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The power to wiggle your big toe whenever you have a car accident with a baby gorilla on the passenger seat every other Thursday of every other leap year.

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The power to see through glass walls.

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The power to hold your pee for 5 minutes longer than normal.

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ability to smack the crap out of austin calhounh and laugh at him

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!