Power to give birth through your penis.

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The power to know everything, but then forget every 7 seconds

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The power to kill yourself.

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The power to jizz mango chutney

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the power to make an earthquake that an ant can not even feel

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the power to randomly die at any moment

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The power to buy the newest iPhone without the charger...

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the power to die 10 minutes after reading this comment

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The ability to teleport to distant locations with no way of returning.

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The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

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The power to be better than Chuck Norris, but you have to be in a lucid sleep.

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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The power to tell people that you have been "gifted" with a pointless superpower.

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The power to be able to see 1 second into the future

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The ability to look directly at the sun without damaging your eyes.

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Justin Bieber

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the power to see the present

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To be able to levitate one object in front of you for one second a day

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The ability to see into the present.

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The power to turn into a tree.

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the power to cook sandwiches when married

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The power to sense the emotions of inanimate objects.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!