The power to jizz mango chutney

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The power to be immortal until the moment that you would die.

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the power to predict the outcome of any event after it's already happened

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The power to walk through doors, then open it.

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The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

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The power to turn into a pineapple that can teleport into a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died because of a pine apple that was in a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died.

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The power to be Omnipotent and create a rock too heavy for yourself to lift.

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The ability to hear fish.

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The power to be better than Chuck Norris, but you have to be in a lucid sleep.

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The power to suck your own dick

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the power to take a poo everywhere but on the toilet

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The power to read terms and conditions

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The power to shoot glue from your penis

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The power to have a device to turn the tv off without touching it!!! :O

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The power to be gangsta, only in front of true gangsta's.

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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The power to tell people that you have been "gifted" with a pointless superpower.

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The power to be invisable but for only 5 seconds or the power to fly but only 2 feet off the ground.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to not think of a productive power.

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the power to melt your bones

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The power to attract any women you like by ripping of your junk.

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The ability to seduce any woman.....over 200lbs......that was born with a penis.

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The power to live,but only when you are dead

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!