The ability to talk to parrots and have them talk back to you

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The power of turning butter into concrete.

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The power to survive extreme temperatures, for extremely short amounts of time.

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The power to open doors with your bare hands

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The ability to make cheese, only edible to vegans, but only on leap days

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The super power of randomly confuse the feeling of being about to sneeze and being about to shit yourself

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the power to piss at will but only when your bladder is full

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The power to escape reality by entering the magical land of skyrim via your PS3.

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The power to have ABSOLUTELY anything you want!... ...As long as that absolutely anything you want happens to be a pile of premium fresh horsecrap... Moral: This made myself lol, so it probably has 16 red thumbs by now YAY!!!!!!!!

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The power to lick your elbow.

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The power to give yourself any disease, but not the power to cure it.

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The power to type random pointless powers on a website for pointless powers.

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To turn instantly water proof while eating a burito

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The power to not respond to gravity (only when you're in space).

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The power to cash cheques that are only ever made out to someone else.

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The power to smell like body odor at will

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The ability to evolve into magickarp

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The power to teleport but you must have walked to that place within the last attosecond

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The power to destroy any electronic device seconds after touching itoesajfaokpnhgåpesajfjåaeafjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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The power to read this text unless you can see it.

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The power to climb trees really fast, but they shrink when you do.

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The ability to find the sharpest object in an given drawer, by having it puncture your hand. Every time.

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The power to whenever your punched you cry a lot of asid that burns your flesh

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The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!