The power to teleport stupid people away from you - but they teleport to YOUR HOUSE.

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The power to understand irony.

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Listen to Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black everywhere you go.

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The power to pick your nose but you happen to be Lord Voldermot

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the ability to shoot a little steam cloud from your penis every time you finish peeing

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done something sexual with some type of food?

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The power to reseal bottles!

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The power to become erect at the sight of a man's butthole, oh wait thats just liam flanagan

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The power to have hindsight.

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The ability to read braile.

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The power to put up with your in-laws.

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the power to pay 1 cent less then what items in the store cost

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The power to die whenever you eat any type of food

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The power to eat soup with a fork.

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The power to stop time whenever you get stabbed in the liver

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The power to freeze time, but not unfreeze it.

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The power to write pointless superpowers

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The power to walk through air.

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The power to have excellent wifi when all your devices are dead.

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The power to die.

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The power to hold your fart unless people are around you

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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The power to take any object you are holding and swap it with anything within thirty feet

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The power to make your breath smell like vanilla at will.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!