The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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The power to see through solid objects, but only when said solid object is transparent.

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The power to become erect at the sight of a man's butthole, oh wait thats just liam flanagan

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The power to whant badly to have kids but you give birth to massive amounts of spiders, ducklings and some undefined type of small feline instead of childen

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The power to have hindsight.

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The ability to read minds, but it can only be your own.

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The power to become square shaped each time you are on fire. Moral: Try rolling on the ground now bitch...

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teh pwoer 2 rite liek dis!!!11!1!111!!!! ex dee

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The power to fly, but only fly north

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The power to put up with your in-laws.

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The power to fart to inside. By mouth.

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the power to spit long distances at inconvenient times

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The power to make clean socks dirty.

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The power to shift baroque and rococo era paintings proximately 2" up and 3" to the left.

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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The power to time-travel to the moment you die.

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Power that makes you perfect in being useless

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You're super strong, but only when punching SUV's.

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The power of dying whenever you want.

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The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip.

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the power to write amazingly neat but only with invisible ink

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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The power to get stuck to doorknobs in dangerous situations

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The power to travel back and forth in time by pressing your left elbow against your right armpit. It really works! Try it!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!