The power to count exactly how many babies under the age of three weeks existed in the last 14 seconds.

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the power to sing like a pro but only when in a bathroom or when autotune is involved...

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The power to make cats ask for cheeseburgers in comically broken English

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The power to throw a rock at the ground and miss

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the power to walk through any wall BUT the walls of the room you're in.

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The power to tell when someone last masturbated, but only by shaking their hand.

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The ability to not get sunburn, but only at night.

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The ability to not live forever

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The power to look like your jacking off every time your mom walks in the room

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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Having the power to trap bugs with your manly body hair (chest hair, nose hair, moustache, armpit hair, pubic.......)

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The power to turn everything you touch in to a plastic fork.

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the power to kiss your own ass

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The power to teleport yourself one step away

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The Ability to shit studs once a week

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The power to float in water, and then sink sometimes.

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The power to defuse bombs without touching them, but you have to be within 3 inches of it.

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The power to drink parfume and not get disgusted

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The power to telepathically fold paper.

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To write a pointless power on paper to use.

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The power to ejaculate

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The power to fly but only when touching the ground

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The Power of being able to do anything but does not work when you need it

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!