The power to grow your fingernails at 1.5% times the average speed, provided you contribute three hours a day to meditation.

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The power to turn shades of brown or red, but only when exposed to the sun for an extended amount of time.

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The power to become erect at the sight of a man's butthole, oh wait thats just liam flanagan

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The power to whant badly to have kids but you give birth to massive amounts of spiders, ducklings and some undefined type of small feline instead of childen

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the ability to eject a little steam cloud from your penis every time you finish peeing.

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The power to die just by trying to use the word l...

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The power to eat your poop

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The power to become perfect. Perfect: There can be only one moral man.

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The abiltity to grow an additional 4 fingered hand from your inner thigh

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The power to turn gourmet meals into shit.

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The power to control Rollie pollies

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the power to finish your plate of veggies when ever you like.

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The power to shift baroque and rococo era paintings proximately 2" up and 3" to the left.

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The power to have your toe nails and fingernails be bulletproof.

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The power to remove all flavour from food.

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The power to fart on a zebra when you are next to a zebra and have to fart.

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The power to think of powers someone else has already come up with

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The power to create a clean and temporary bathroom only you can use when you don't have to use one

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The power to quote Castlevania quotes all day... yelling them out on the streets! Moral: WHAT IS A MAN! People look at me and laugh... and moral man struts past... he has never been so awesome before... They see me rollin... they laughing... they lovin... and I hope nobody calls the ambulance because I am crazy... in love... I can see it in your eyes... I can see it in your smiiileeee...

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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The power to look into the car next to me at the exact moment the driver is picking his nose

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the power to automatically turn into a litlle girl when you see pedobear.

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The power of speaking every laguage on earth, but to know only one word in your entire life.

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the power to sing like a pro but only when in a bathroom or when autotune is involved...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!